Just One Touch, Now Baby I Believe

How do you know if someone likes you? Not just like you, but like you like you? On the other hand, how can you at least drop a hint that you like someone or find him/her attractive? I have a friend—who is not me—who once shared a method she likes to call “the sabay touch”. Ooooh. Basically it’s when you make a gesture and simultaneously touch an area between the object of your affection’s shoulder to hand. So when he makes a joke, by all means laugh in utmost appreciation (not like a maniac, of course) and place your hand on his shoulder, as if labelling him to be one funny guy. If he is conveying his thoughts, nod intently as you reach out for his hand, assuring that your attention is with him.

Such a method seems more plausible for females applying it on the opposite sex rather than the other way around. I don’t know, but it’s unlikely to see a buff dude reaching out for lady shoulders. Worst case scenario is female taking the touching behaviour of the male as inappropriate, which can lead to suspicion of sexual motivation.

Yes, like so.

Apparently, some scientific evidence shows support for my playful pal’s ploy. A study by Guegen (2010) explored how a woman’s touch can affect men’s behaviour, specifically in the courtship context. 64 single men aged 18-25 were selected randomly in an area of a bar. A female confederate would move to a participant’s table when he would sit on a chair in that area. The confederate would then show difficulty in doing a task with her keys, after which she would stand ask the participant for help.

When the participant completes the task, she would get the keys back, smile openly, and thank him. According to a random distribution, the confederate—while in the middle of thanking—was instructed to slightly touch the forearm of the male participant for one to two seconds. Finally, she would return to her table and look at the street. If the male approached her to initiate a conversation, she would say that she has to leave due to an appointment.

Through a chronometer, an observer was instructed to note if the participant did approach the confederate and have a conversation with her. If no verbal contact took place, the observer would note how many times the participant glanced at the female and for how long. This was accomplished through a metronome with a light vibrator that was set on 60 beats per minute. Apparently, this study had a few wicked gadgets involved.

Now how 'bout some skin food?

Anyway, results showed that a slight tactile contact was associated with a decrease in the male participants’ latency to approach the female confederate. In addition, touch is also associated with an increased number of glances at the confederate, as well as the duration of each glance. In summary of the study, touch seems to contribute to the positive evaluation of and interest with the toucher, and that the concept of touch in the courtship setting  can be a good non-verbal communication factor in regulating male-female relationships.

So let me get back to my friend—who truly is not me—for more tricks up her sleeve. We got mouth for whispering sweet nothings, reciting literature, and singing silly love songs, but you can count on skin once in a while too. Show some, use some. It is the biggest organ, after all.

Source: Gueguen, N. (2010). The effect of a woman’s incidental tactile contact on men’s later behaviour. Social Behavior and Personality, 38(2), 257-266.